Coming of Age as The Crone

I heard recently that we experience not one but many comings of age. I can’t find the author interview where I heard this, but I was inspired to think about my life at this stage as a coming of age. I have just retired from a career that has been so meaningful a part of my identity that it is difficult to imagine my life without it. I have just turned 64, and I have long thought of the Beatles song as a benchmark to reach. Now that I am 64, what is my life to be?  I am coming of age as the Crone.

Life Journey

As a Cancer, I have not been good at letting go, I held on to the Maiden and struggled to stay free as I became a young mother. And as my children grew up, I held on to being Mother, not wanting to let go of the children I raised. Luckily, grandchildren have given me the outlet I need for play and nurturing. Now, as I move on to the Crone phase, I am happily realizing that the Crone embodies all 3, as it is the sum of my life that brings me here. Maiden, Mother, Crone by Kellianna is a song that describes the journey, and the presence of all 3 archetypes in each of us. I am on a journey to embrace the Crone in me.

Seeking Crone Wisdom

My first step has been to seek words of wisdom from one of my Crone Models, Clarissa Pinkola Estes. When I read Women Who Run With the Wolves as a young woman, it changed my life. I began to see the depths of ancient stories and how they informed and guided my own journey. I am now listening to more powerful stories and wisdom in The Power of the Crone – Sounds True. She says that the power of the Crone is being ready to assist each of us to “fulfill the callings of the souls on this earth—with verve, with style, with critical insights, with wisdom, and with love.”  I want to be that Crone!

My Crow sisters who are Crones have been my teachers as well. As I have experienced their growth and transitions I have learned grace, compassion and experienced much mirth and laughter! I see how they shine even brighter as they come into their Crone power. Even those who are not Crones yet have much wisdom to impart! Tara Kreauweaumonn has written three acts of a “ritual in four acts” for the process of becoming a Crone. These have helped me to love and celebrate the Croning process, and I am using them as guides to design my upcoming Croning ceremony. Stay tuned for that in my next post!

Crone Models

I have several women in my heart who have been models of wisdom for me. I’ve been reviewing their words recently as part of my Croning process.

Maya Angelou has been a guiding light in my life and I felt a real loss, as of a grandmother, when she passed. But her wise words live on to guide me still. Whenever I feel the need to gather Crone energy, Still I Rise speaks to my soul. Stories have magick to open our inner eyes to our own wisdom; the stories from Maya Angelou’s life are powerful and have shown me throughout my adult life how to see through another’s experience. She transmits the visceral and numinous aspects of her life adventures beautifully, even in their raw agony and tenderness. Her poem, “Phenomenal Woman” speaks out about the power of women:

“It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.” 

Buffy St. Marie is another Crone Model of mine. Her voice is strong and her spirit is fearless, and these are characteristics of mine I work to unearth. She is a true Crone Goddess, speaking truth to power.

“And if I had a way to reach the sky
I’d grab that crescent moon
Wield it like a knife
And save you from your lies.”

from “The Big Ones Got Away” on Medicine Songs

Her work with educators in the Cradleboard Teaching Project to “joyfully replace old inaccuracies” is a beautiful offering for all of us. I am a lifelong learner and educator, and this work is very needed in my field.

Jane Goodall may be an international celebrity, but it’s not because she wanted to be! She has always just done the next right thing, and her life experiences have shown her how much she can share with others. I recently saw the 2020 film about her life and work Jane Goodall: The Hope. I recommend this as strongly as I can, because of the way she shows how she works with people in a loving and compassionate way, with hope, to make a difference for our Mother Earth and all its beings.

These are a few of the famous Crones I am inspired by, and I also find inspiration in watching many women who are not famous, but who are making waves in the world as elders and Crones.

Gifts of the Crone

What gifts does the Crone offer? Befriending Death leads us to a fuller appreciation of the magick and beauty of every moment in this life. We also become more aware of the energy we have to create whatever we desire! We are freed from the constraints of the dominant culture, which so effectively programs us to conform, from childhood through our adult life. I feel this freeing energy more each day as I embrace Crone power. Our life experiences inform our vision and our continued learning journey, adding a richness to us that we can share with others, as well as being helpful in mitigating fear. Not afraid of how others view us, and with the understanding of how knowledge is strength against fear, we come into our Crone Power! As Dr. Pinkola Estes says:

“If you weep, the Crone will move closer to you. Laugh, and she wants to hear the joke. Dance, and she wants to dance with you and in you. She has help for the hurt and for the one poisoned by bitterness. She can pull the thorn from the breast, and tattoo your scars with flowering boughs.”

So mote it be.

Crone Resources

To explore your own Crone journey, you may find these additional resources helpful and interesting. Please share anything about your own journey in the comments below.

BOUNDARIES ARE BEAUTIFUL | WELCOME CRONE WISDOM -the image above is from this site

Alane Crowomyn’s Crone Playlist – I listened to this as I wrote this blog post.

The Ancient Crone – From Crones Counsel

The Pagan Book of Living and Dying by Starhawk