In this, the Dark time of the year, I chose to write about something we all will face. As I age, I contemplate that day when Lady Death will stretch out Her hands to me. Not the skeletal hands of crude illustrations from the Middle Ages, but the warm, calloused, welcoming hands of an old friend. She is always with us, waiting for Her moment to take us home. Life expectancy for a man now is seventy three years. I am almost seventy. I have dreams of that home and family long dead. I do not fear my death, but I have reached a place where I am finally happy with my life and satisfied with who I am. My tears come thinking of the loved ones and this cherished life I will leave… Again.
Eternal Love (Tears of the Wolf) was written about these dreams, these feelings. A sadness of time passed and this life and love coming to its inevitable end. Until the next time… I often feel Her hand on my shoulder. I couldn’t perform it for a while because it brought me to tears. It still does.
You can listen to (and purchase) this song on my Bandcamp site.
“Someday I won’t be here, you’ll have to let me go
“Eternal Love” by Louis Garou
Cast my ashes to the Wind and Fire, the Earth and Water down below
Do you know how much I love you, how hard it is to go?
To leave you for the Next World, to wait and want and Love you so?
We only have so many days, you know it’s just not right
I always want you in my dreams, to hold all through the night
When our time it comes again, as it always does, it seems
I will hold you in my arms, until then, I’ll hold you in my dreams
We only have so many days, you know it’s just not right
I always want you in my dreams, to hold all through the night
I love you more than Life itself or even Lady Death
I’ll reach out to you with my final breath
As your brother the Sun lies dying, and we’re left here all alone
I’ll follow you into your Darkness, I’ll follow you back home.
I love you more than Life itself or even Lady Death
I’ll reach out to you with my final breath
I’ll reach out to you, and you’ll reach out to me
Like we always do, when we finally see
Until there’s no more you… And there’s no more me
Until there’s no more you… And there’s no more me”
The story of the dying Wolf, not wanting to leave his beloved, still breaks my heart. Even though he knows they will find each other again in the next life… Like they always do. It was decades in this lifetime before they were inexorably led back to each other. He doesn’t fear passing beyond the veil, just being separated from Her once more.
This story has repeated itself for millennea. And it will continue until the end of the World.
“As your brother the Sun lies dying, and we’re left here all alone
I’ll follow You into Your Darkness, I’ll follow You back home.”
The Wolf’s tears are my tears. The Wolf’s pain is my pain.
It is a comfort to live in my mind. I wake from a pleasant dream.
Darkness, busy with Her potions, smiles at the Wolf, half asleep beyond Her massive, overladen table and Her altar… Candles and bitter smoke, and the smell of herbs only She remembers. “Rise, come Hades,” he raises his head at Her words, stretches and is on his feet, out the door at Her side. They disappear rapidly into the shadows beneath the great Oak trees. Another night in a better, albeit darker World… Their World.
I wake at three. I hear a sound, furtive movement, outside the cabin, my left hand already on the handle of my blade. I sit up, away from Her warmth. She pulls the blanket closer. On Her other side, Wolf is already sitting up grinning at me, those teeth sharper and more deadly than any blade. We get up silently moving by the bright windows. Outside the eerie, orange light of the street lamps gives everything an unnatural glow.
I open the door and we are both outside. Wolf turns giving me his toothy grin, and looks back at an armadillo scuttering away. I chuckle and he makes throaty, amused noises. I dig my pipe and matches from the shelf by the door, settling naked to smoke on the porch steps. Wolf sits vigilant beside me on the porch, making sure we are safe from armadillos and possums.
We go back inside. I sit down to write. He pads back to the bed. It is after all the Witching hour. Before daylight I return to the comfort of the bed, sheath my blade and crawl back under the covers. She settles back against me, warm and happy… Between the wolf and the man.
This is my life every day. Every night. I wish it could go on forever.
For more information about Louis Garou, including his collected articles here on Pagan Song, his bio, and links to Louis’s sites on the web, check out Louis’s page on Pagan Song.
If this post spoke to you, you might also enjoy our posts “Befriending the Dark Goddess” by Alane and “Holy Darkness” by Marilyn.
For more information about Louis, including his collected articles here on Pagan Song, his bio, and links to Louis’ sites on the web, check out Louis’s author page here on Pagan Song.
cover photo of wolf’s eye by Virginia Johnson
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