Poking Fun at Witch Stereotypes

I’ve always been leery about religious or spiritual types who are unwilling to occasionally poke fun at their own beliefs and practices.  As Witches/Wiccans, we have a lot of stereotypes to satirize, thanks to Halloween, such as the old hag with green skin and a big wart on her long hooked nose. Like you, I know a lot of Wiccans, and none of them look like that without makeup. The stereotypes also don’t account for our fondness for tie dye and other flamboyant festival wear, although we also embrace blacks and other dark colors in season.

Unlike mainline religions, our willingness to poke fun at our own practices suggests an easy confidence in those practices. There’s a song that goes; “I’m a Wiccan Pagan Druid, I am New Age through and through. Decked in crystals from my head to toe, with feathers and pyramids, too. I have got a glass athame, with batteries to make it glow…” (Anyone know who wrote that one?) That song is seriously (a contradiction in terms?) in this category. It filks (co-opts) the melody to I’m a Yankee Doodle Dandy. I get a kick out of filking songs for my witchy purposes. My song We Won’t Sleep Tonight uses the tune of The Lion Sleeps Tonight, which makes for lots of fun. For example “a-wimb-away” becomes “a Wicca-way”. That one is on our first album, Crow Goddess, and we never tire of singing it.

I wrote “We Are the Witches” in this same spirit back in 2011. The melody didn’t get added until we started getting serious about our latest recording project, now out as Seasons: A Pagan Journey Around the Wheel. The first three lines of each verse are in a major key. The fourth line goes minor and ends with appropriate sound effects. You can buy that album from us, and we sure appreciate the business.

We are the witches, see our brooms.
We keep pet toads in our rooms.
They are guys that done us wrong.
But now they sing a sorry song.
 
We are the witches, we like cats.
They like to snuggle, unlike bats.
But then they see our pointy hats,
And suddenly our hats are flat.
 
We are the witches, stirring our cauldrons,
Newts and toadstools, bubbling potions;
Smells like chicken, tastes like slime,
So keep on stirring, give it time.
 
We are the witches, we like mead.
It’s mostly legal, unlike weed.
Honey and yeasties, bubbling brew,
We joyfully hoist a glass or two.
 
We are the witches, we like crows.
They always wear their best black clothes.
We know they love their shiny things,
And glitter on their blue-black wings.
 
We are the witches, we ride brooms,
Over the rooftops we are flewn.
We buzz the courthouse in the full moon,
And happily sing a witchy tune.

We are the Witches by Carole McWilliams  ©2011   

These songs are just fun to sing. Another one is Alane’s Bless Our Mead: The Yeast Herders’ Anthem which includes moments of operatic pretentiousness and is accompanied by kazoos. It’s on our 2012 album, Crow Magic. Alane uses it to bless Yeast Herder’s (mead, wine & beer brewers) gatherings at pagan festivals, while casting a circle with a corkscrew. We’ll be singing both Yeast Herders and We Are the Witches in our concert at Covenant of the Goddess’ Merry Meet in Albuquerque on August 17th.

Dear reader, what are your thoughts about stereotypes about witches? Do they bug you? Do you have fun with them? Do songs like mine perpetuate them or poke holes in them? Your perspective would be very welcome–please leave a comment!