If the delicate fluting of the kazoo is part of your vision for a song you are arranging, you may find yourself faced with the prospect of running a rehearsal that includes kazoos. I have had this delightful experience. I would like to offer my reflections for all of you who find yourself in this situation. Here are some predictable outcomes that I did not, alas, predict.
1) When you hand out kazoos to your choir, you will utterly lose control of rehearsal. They will regress. The atmosphere will remind you of kindergarten on a Friday afternoon. There is no fighting this. Breathe. Invoke Eris, Goddess of humor, and let the energy work its way to completion before trying to accomplish anything as boring as, for example, rehearsing.
2) Because of the above, do not try to teach a new song after handing out kazoos. Teach the song first. In retrospect, I think it’s best to make up words for the kazoo parts and practice with those before trying it with actual kazoos. If you have an instrumental bridge on kazoo you could have them sing, “who needs a digeridoo, I have a kazoo!” to the meter and tune you’ll need later.
3) Safety tips: There will be someone who has never encountered a kazoo before. It is surprisingly difficult to explain in words how to play a kazoo. There will also be someone who hates kazoos and won’t want to play one. Be prepared for Kazoo Baggage. It can happen to anyone.
4) Do not be dissuaded from your vision. If your composition pleads for kazoos, if you cannot imagine performing it without that playful buzzing, be true to yourself. Your Muse knows what it’s doing. It may, perhaps, be necessary to be flexible about the arrangement so that the kazoos don’t prevent your audience from understanding the lyrics, but that’s in the details. The kazoo has its place in pagan music performance. It’s in the basic instructions: mirth and reverence.
What song, you might ask, so urgently requires the use of kazoos that I have proceeded courageously to overcome the formidable perils of rehearing with this most silly of wind instruments? If you have attended certain brewers’ gatherings that I have facilitated, you know the answer. It’s “Bless Our Mead: The Yeast Herders’ Anthem”. It’s a circle casting song for mead makers, invoking the sacred spirits of yeast, honeybees, fermentation and the Gods of the Brew. It’s one of our favorites to perform in Crow Women concerts.
With kazoos.
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