I do not celebrate Thanksgiving, I haven’t in over a decade. It simply is a fact. I don’t mind if everyone else does. I won’t hurl your turkey through the air, or dump your gravy boat. I just don’t celebrate it.
What I do celebrate is Friendsgiving. I imagine a good sized handful of y’all do too. It’s the perfect time of year for it. There’s holiday time off from work, long days out of school, the last of the PTO to burn off. It all just makes sense, and everyone seems to be genuinely cheery and happy to see each other. My home becomes a mash of all things Samhain to Yule, the throw pillow numbers increase and warmly lit trees stand everywhere. I make myself insane leading up to the gathering, worrying frantically over things that I know none of my eclectically acquired family members care about. I plan meals and snacks and drinks and a list of other things that are probably not necessary.
There are no unwanted guests, or uncomfortable hugs. There are no disconcerting silences, or pauses in the conversations. I hover like a bee guarding the hive, coffee brewing continually, wine corks pulled as needed. Silently clearing discarded wares, moving desserts to the table to be nibbled on at will, a pile of forks and plates(if you want one), set to the side. I listen to the laughter and snippets of conversations, and to the voices of my beloved, sat here at my table.
The calls of “come sit down with us”, or “be still for a minute” bring me to the table to sit and chat and plot our next revolution, or to seriously discuss the terrifying state of the world, then I fly away again. Eyeballing coffee cups and wine glasses as I go, and returning with the appropriate refills. The familiar and comfortable cadence of the conversation returns and I find something new to piddle with.
And I marvel, I marvel at this group of people that I have somehow managed to gather all in one place. It is a rare and wondrous thing, this strange concoction of personalities I have somehow brewed, but it’s here in front of me just the same. I listen to their voices again, bits and pieces of sentences, laughter and sorrow, real and beautiful, clean and dirty. I know these people, and their hearts and their fears and their sorrows and sadness. I know their children from afar and up close, I know their families and their stories. I am humbled by all of that, and in those moments I know and recognize what true thankfulness looks like. It’s finding that place you belong, sometimes it doesn’t look like anything you imagined. Sometimes it’s not a holiday, or a date on a calendar. Sometimes it’s making that last pot of coffee at midnight, Sometimes its playing charades and winning an egg full of silly putty, or glittery reindeer horns. (Friendsgiving people, this is your warning!! Hope you are reading this)
The older I get , the more I realize how quiet and easy the really great things in life are. Thankfulness, in my opinion, is one the best. Find reason for it everyday, even on the horrible , awful, no good days.Surround yourself with people that give you reason to claim it everyday, and speak into your life.
I wish you all a very Thankful Friendsgiving, may this coming season of darkness provide you with points of illumination.
A lot of us celebrate milestones in moments in our lives with music . At this time of year, with a heart full of thankfulness I have a favorite in my house is Thankful by the amazing Ginger Doss. We like to turn it up loud and dance. I strongly recommend you sit and spend some time with this song.if you wanted to , you could even head over to gingerdoss.com and find a whole lot of other amazing songs to remind you how thankful you really are. I know the world is awfully hard right now, I know there are some days that feel even harder than the one before. We can do this, grab your friends and remember all the millions of reasons you have to be thankful.
If you have a group coming for a holiday visit, a great gift idea is Blessing Balls. While maybe not the best of vernacular, I’m from the south and we just say weird things and give objects odd names. It’s also a really great group activity as well! ( Friendsgiving people, I sure hope you all are reading this!). The supplies are easy to get a hold of and inexpensive.
- Clear glass ornaments with removable tops ( plastic ones are also available for the little ones)
- Dried herbs and flowers
- Paints , glitter, ribbons, beads and all kinds of adornments
Let everyone fill and create their own Blessing Ball for their own intentions, while letting the harmony , joy and fun spirit of the group dump all that good juju into them. You can even write a date on them to check your work progress. It’s also a really good reminder of all that love and happiness you feel when surrounded by your tribe.
cover photo of harvest wreath by Joanna Kosinska
For more information about Krista Chapman Green, including her collected articles here on Pagan Song, her bio, and links to Krista’s sites on the web, check out Krista’s page on Pagan Song.
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