Ah, Stability: Group Development, part 7

This is installment seven of my eight-part series on pagan group psychology. Whether the group is a band of pagan musicians, a circle, or a festival community, it will follow the general patterns of human groups, passing through a series of predictable phases. We have considered the psychology typical of new groups, the energy of growing engagement, and the process of settling on structure in previous articles. After all those exciting stages, the group arrives at a time when they can relax, enjoy one another and do the work they came to the group or organizarion for. They are in the performing stage.

Just as the forming stage is like the childhood of the group; the storming stage is like adolescence; and the norming stage is like young adulthood–the performing stage is like the stable years of middle age. At this point the group has gained experience in living a pagan life together. The group is mature and capable. This is a time for it to enjoy its productive years. Three hallmarks of the performing stage are effectiveness, intimacy and security

Effectiveness

There’s a reason this stage is called “performing”. The group has worked through much of its growing pains and is now able to perform its tasks effectively. Because of a long history of accomplishing things together, the members have confidence in their ability to solve problems. In our band, the Crow Women, that takes many forms. We’ve put out three albums and are currently working on the fourth one. We manage this web site, taking turns writing blog posts. We’re human, and not everything goes perfectly, but in general we operate smoothly and competently. That takes practice, just like musical skills do!

The song Full Height of our Power by Pagan Song blogger Kellianna captures the feeling of a group in the performing stage very well. I love the postive energy of this song. It makes me think of pagan communities who have reached a mature stage and are able to turn out weekend festivals, food bank drives and protest marches with equal aplomb. Truly, it is worth paying attention to nurturing healthy group dynamics so as to create this kind of powerhouse for achieving goals. And, why not sing Kellianna’s song to celebrate your power?

We are a people at the full height of our power
This is the place and now is the hour
We recognize our sacred worth
We have the power to transform the earth

Full Height of our Power, by Kellianna, on her album “Elemental“

Intimacy

A key to a group being able to perform effectively is that the interpersonal side of its dynamics are solid. It takes more than just task orientation to maintain a stable group. It takes love. In a group that is coasting along in the plateau of performing, members know that they are loved and accepted. They truly care for one another. We, in the Crow Women, have been there for one another through births and deaths, handfastings and handpartings. We’re family.

Intimacy is something that takes time to grow. Members share what is close to their hearts. If these confidences are met with support and compassion, trust grows. Rituals for a coven in this phase are likely to include opportunities for members to share what is going on with them, as part of the magic, in sacred space. I recommend songs such as our own The Roots of My Heart to sing or listen to in ritual. It’s a beautiful reminder of the depth of connection, of entwined roots, that have grown. It’s always good to honor this side of a group, to remind ourselves how precious it is.

The roots of my heart go deep underground
and entwine with the roots of your heart.
I will find you deep in my heart, I will find you deep in my heart.

from “The Roots of My Heart” by Cynthia Crossen, recorded by Crow Women on Crow Goddess

Security

One of the lovely things about being in a group that has reached the stability of the performing stage is the sense of security members feel. As pagans, we live on the Wheel of the Year–we have a rich array of traditions that the Sabbats bring. A circle that is living the stability of the performing stage will build up a comforting cycle of rituals over time. For the Crow Women, Imbolc is especially important. We dress in white and make vows to one another every year. That predictability is deeply satisfying.

Roles are another key to that sense of security. People know what their place in the group is, who they are. If those roles are allowed to be flexible, that’s even more healthy. Members need to have space to grow, too.

When I think of long-term stable pagan groups, one that comes to mind is Circle Sanctuary and its summer solstice festival: Pagan Spirit Gathering. I remember being at a PSG, at the end of an evening concert, and Spiral Rhythm singing We Are Light. The feeling of being part of a beautifully crafted community was palpable. I felt home. That’s one of the strenghts of a group or organization that has reached maturity. In that dependable space, we are secure enough to be free to touch the infinite.

We light the sacred fire
Join hands watch smoke do spirals into the sky before it spreads before the wind
Sweet voices lift in song, make magic all night long, the weaving’s strong
And the circle’s born again.
All the world and its disharmony fall away into the void
We are standing on creation’s shore, many singers, just one voice
We are life, we are love
We are the pure radiance of all that’s Goddess touched
We are light; I feel my soul take flight
On wings of firelight I’ll touch the stars
On this goddess-holy night, we dance and sway as one
Our hearts beat with the drum–the transformation comes
And we finally touch the light

from the title track of We Are Light by Spiral Rhythm

We’re like an old married couple

Stages of groups are like the phases of romantic relationships. There’s the honeymoon of the forming stage, the perils of actually getting to know one another’s real selves, warts and all, of the storming stage, then the forging of agreements about the relationship of the norming stage. In the performing stage, the circle is like a comfortable married couple. There’s trust and security.

The group’s relationship is predictable, and the committment is as deep as a truly attached pair of life partners. And like an old married couple, it’s worth celebrating anniversaries. The Crow Women’s first ritual was a summer solstice ceremony, and we often include an honoring of our longevity at Litha. On our decade points, we tend to have a big celebration, a bit like a couple renewing its vows. In 2022, the Crow Women will be thirty years old, that’s definitely an excuse for a good party!

If you’re in a group that’s in the performing stage, I encourage you to dedicate a ritual to reflecting on your journey as a group and celebrating what you’ve created together. Perhaps you could include the three songs I’ve suggested in this article.

To read this whole series from the beginning, start with Group Development, Part 1. At the end of each post, there’s a link to the next one in the series, so you can read them all in order.

The next article in this series is its final installment. I discuss why groups come to an end, and the features of the adjourning stage. Read on here.

Cover photo by Chang Duong