The Big 50
It is February, finally. Imbolc has come and gone and I am watching with hopeful eyes for the beginning blooms of this new season. This month I begin my 50th revolution around this great wide world. I have celebrated my new year on Samhain for years, and then moved into the winter and time of rest.
This year I knew that wasn’t the right fit for me. So as I am known to do, I simply turned directions. I knew waiting for St. Brigid’s Day was the right fit. So I spent my deep winter months looking back on a life lived fully. I spent time breaking down barriers and building up my body and determining what was most important to me. As I walk into the 50th year of learning, I need to know what matters the most at this point in my life. For me the answer was clear: Vibrancy.
It’s Not Just Vibrations, It’s Vibrancy
The last year of my 40s sat heavy on me, burying me in the requirement to be still. To sit quietly and listen to my body and the world around me. To truly listen, to all the things that surround me daily. The laughter of my children in the other room, the phone calls from friends, all the small beautiful things that make my life in my little castle on the hill peaceful. With everything that has happened the last 13 months the one thought I have returned to again and again is vibrancy.
It’s a word that has a million different meanings and is approached from all directions, by different people. For me it was a cumulative answer. All the bits and pieces of my life that I had lived, but not lived fully. For some of us a full and vibrant life remains at the very edges of fingertips. That is not to say happiness and love and joy don’t enter our lives, but the fear of losing it so outweighs our need to be our fully expressed selves that vibrancy remains dim. Piece by piece we hide portions of ourselves away. Safe, secure, and unhurt. I have spent the 12 years of my life happier than I have ever been, however, I can also say only in the last 2 years have I finally let all the pieces fall. Only in the last 2 years, have I finally sat with the mirror, and reached out in love, patience and understanding of the person looking back at me. And this is her year to live out loud, to be the full, beautiful and vibrant person she is becoming.
A Readjustment To The Real You
Vibrancy can cover so many parts of your life. I have found that for me, if built correctly and whole-heartedly, my own vibrancy can create a hedge of protection around me that lasts all day long. I’ve deliberately chosen several key areas of my life to inject it fully into. I looked first at things that I could do outwardly that made me feel vibrant and alive. My wardrobe was one thing I knew I could tackle immediately. I’ve sewn for over 30 years now – you name it, I can make it. I also found the most amazing Wolf ears last year, and they make me smile quite wickedly. The new wardrobe rule is this, if feral Grandmother Wolf wouldn’t wear it, it doesn’t get to stay. Needless to say I’m about to get weird with it. But I am smiling and reconnecting with sacred parts of myself that have been denied life for a long time. If wearing only items in all the beautiful hues of pink makes you smile and makes you feel powerful, please do that. Like start immediately, right now, go change, really. We need you at your most vibrant version of yourself.
A Commitment to Yourself
I have chosen secondly to put a much stronger emphasis on my spiritual practices. To commit to time daily to energy-filled, vibrant, true communication in my practices. To walk quietly and simply through the steps won’t cover it anymore. As I committed to myself and to those that I follow, more opportunity arose to allow me to walk in those practices even further. “As without, within,” we often say. If I was going to allow my outside self to be truly me, then the inside was allowed to do so also. Now is the time to embrace that no one is in charge of your practice. Your spirituality, religion or thought system is yours to devise. There is no right or wrong way. There is a need to be respectful of others, and of other practices. Outside of those simple and clear rules, this is your horse to ride. My practice is a mix of many things, with its primary focus being that of the Goddess and Great Mother. I have been a follower of Brigid for 36 years now. It had become easy to be complacent. That is no longer an option for me. To operate on this increasingly tense world, my footing must be strong and built on rock. I encourage you to find one thing you can commit to doing everyday, even if its only 10 minutes. At the risk of sounding like your mother, I also implore you to put the phone/tablet/computer down. Please go outside, take your shoes off, and stand on this good Earth, even if there is snow on the ground, right now go … You can come back and finish reading this afterwards.
A Commitment To The Past
My music has begun a great shift as well, as I find myself returning to some of the roots of my heart. As the sounds of bluegrass, folk, and country dance their way through my head. The voices of generations and the hands on instruments stretching back farther than I know in my family. The memories of my grandfather sitting with the steel guitar for hours, cowboy hat mischievously cocked to one side, and a smile that lit up my entire world as a child. The voice of my mother, following along to fingers flying across the keys of the piano I heard from my birth to her death. I am embracing the ghosts of the past. Holding them close and letting my ancestors join me in my revelry and my rebellion. Now is the time to connect with your ancestors and please remember, your ancestors are who you choose them to be. Find the pieces of yourself that you see in these “heroes” and amplify it. Choose to step vibrantly into those qualities that you have unknowingly seen in yourself already.
A Commitment To Your Community
Lastly, find a way to show up as entirely yourself in some way in your community. Find something that matters to you and grab it. Maybe there’s an animal shelter you could donate a bag of dog food to each month. Maybe you have 3 hours on the weekend you could even go hang out and play with all the animals! If you find the easiest way to help is financially, I would appreciate any love you could send to Wobbles and Stomps!!! One of my very favorite humans run this operation, helping animals with special needs live a happier healthier life, and finding the perfect foster home.
Maybe you’ve noticed the same unhoused folks in the same spot for 3 months. You could give a holler once a week. Just to say hello even. Does your community have a botanical garden that needs volunteers? There are a million ways to interact.
My opinion is this, as our world continues to unravel, while the dying beast flails and gnashes its teeth, we must strengthen our local communities. It’s a drum you’ve heard others bang on for many years now, and its beat is growing louder and stronger by the day. We must build strong, connected, caring and VIBRANT communities. Communities that represent all the beautiful diversity that built this country. Communities centered on the need to care for our fellow humans in compassionate and loving ways. Communities that value the arts and the creative processes of human beings, and share the knowledge we have with each other. My youngest just sewed her first project on her sewing machine – she’s 8. But she is learning a skill that teaches the value of mending things, not just disposing of them.
Lighthouses
Honestly, aren’t we all a little in need of some mending? All of us have that one thing we don’t like, or that one part we always keep hidden. Now is the time, to let it go. Find one person you can truly be yourself with, and lose yourself in tears or laughter, but let it go. If you do not have anyone, HI! I’m your mom now, and I am so damn proud of you. Sit down in front of the mirror, look at that beautiful face and let it go!! Now is the time to become fully engaged in your most Vibrant self.
There will be days ahead of us that will test us, test our strength, our resolve, and our ability to retain our humanity in the face of evil. Standing in our strongest most vibrant selves, feet fully planted in this good Earth, we will face it together. Bands of people and communities stretched and crisscrossing across this country like lighthouses, guiding others to safety. We are being called to stand, for one another and for the things we believe in. First, we must believe fully in ourselves and our ability to be exactly what this world needs right now. Step into yourself, step into your power, step into your Vibrancy and become the light on the hill.
I look forward to sharing more new music with you soon! I’m currently fully in the throes of two major projects. The first a hymnal of sorts!! And the second a reconnection and look back at the musical life of my childhood, From the Alders to the Ashes. For now I am on Facebook sabbatical. Its hard to stay vibrant with all that, but please follow along on Instagram if you would like to! Patience dear ones as I figure out how to do the new thing. Also if you would like to follow along over on Bandcamp all the big news will come out there first.
Your favorite Feral Grandmother Wolf,
Krista
The Crimson Rider by Krista Chapman Green, single released released October 2020
P.S. Happy new year!!! And I hope you enjoy the song The Crimson Rider. It reminds me that I don’t live this life only for myself, but for the protection and justice of those around me.
For more information about Krista Chapman Green, including her collected articles here on Pagan Song, her bio, and links to Krista’s sites on the web, check out Krista’s page on Pagan Song.
The featured image “Dewdrops & Rainbows” was released by Anthony Poynton under Public Domain license.
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