Aphrodite Rising: Summer of Love

All of the sacred self-care advice I see has started to sound the same. Take a yoga class. Be more mindful. Count your blessings. Meditate. Tune out the world. Turn off social media. Calm down. Chill. Relax. Blah, blah, blah.

I’m over it. In the same way that I despise elevator music, I dislike this watered-down version of self-love. Sometimes, to truly heal, you’ve got to burn shit down and rise from the ashes. Summer is the time to harness that inner fire, the rage of generations, the creative spark that longs to explode into a wildfire. 

Fuck mindfulness. Let’s break something.

Sacred Spaces

I’m a fierce soul. I like to fight for the people I love and the causes I support. After a year of self-isolating, I’m feeling a lot of pent-up emotions- grief and rage, stress and anxiety, and- at times- outright terror. I can’t “keep calm and carry on” when my soul is screaming for release.  I wasn’t built to accept the status quo, but to fight against it. This year has been an epic journey. When I pause and look back at all we’ve survived, I know it’s important to celebrate the victories- large and small- and to keep fighting for a more equitable and just society for all.

Being an activist and organizer in these challenging times is causing a lot of people to feel burnt out- myself included. Radical self-love means seeing yourself clearly, and knowing when you need to draw boundaries. After a long day of battling injustice, how do our modern-day warriors rest, regroup, heal, and live to fight the good fight?

Spending time outdoors keeps me grounded and centered. In this season of sowing, tend your garden carefully. Guard your energy for the fight ahead. Stuck inside? Bring nature indoors! Pretty rocks, flowers, and other finds are a perfect addition to a summer altar. Working with houseplants, growing your own herbs to cook with, and experimenting with window-box gardening are excellent ways to connect with the Earth, and bring the energy of nature into your magickal workings.

Tending the Flame

Meditation and mindfulness are excellent tools- but calm, sedentary practices like this don’t really suit me. I prefer to be active, ever-busy, digging my fingers into the dirt to get to the root of the matter. Some folks feel better after they calm down. I feel better after expressing myself. Instead of chanting a mantra like some peaceful Earth-mother priestess, I’m more prone to jack up the volume, sing, scream, and dance like a woman possessed when I need to chill.

If I have a storm inside, I must let it out- squelching my emotions or being mindful of my breath isn’t near as satisfying as screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs, slamming a door, or working out my frustrations through strenuous physical activity. Over Pilates and yoga? Take a tae-bo or kick-boxing class. Watch some martial arts videos online and practice your moves. Get out of your comfort zone, get out of your head, and allow your emotions to flow through you as a physical expression of your power.

A few weeks ago, I visited the SMASH*IT Break Room with a friend. For a very reasonable fee, we were outfitted with safety gear and various instruments of destruction. We created a killer playlist to spur us on, and reported to our Smash Suite- a room filled with dishes, old appliances, and electronics to bash to bits. Dressed in hard hats, gloves, and safety goggles, we used hammers, a crowbar, and a giant wrench to wreak destruction on some truly hideous plates and mugs.

There are many fierce female voices you can tune into. Want to add a spiritual element to your smash session? Try exploring European pagan rock. For example, check out the song Omnos, with Swiss artist Eluveitie singing in Gaulish. It’s a rocking invocation to the divine.

The sound of smashing glass echoed over the sounds of our laughter and curses as we worked our way through the room. An old VCR posed a huge challenge, but it was very satisfying to see the dents appear as we beat on the casing of the 1980s-era beast. Speakers, a keyboard, and a scale were also on the chopping block- and they were no match for our primal rage. I took an immense amount of personal satisfaction from smashing a scale to bits, kicking it across the room and beating it into submission with a crowbar before uttering a war-cry of victory.

Aside from being a fantastic full-body workout, visiting a Smash Room was a cathartic experience I won’t soon forget. It was addictive, and I’ll definitely be back! The adrenaline and endorphin rush was very visceral- almost better than sex. I felt cleansed, purified by my rage- and strangely calm and peaceful, when our session was done.

And here’s a fierce, fiery playlist of pagan music to fuel your summer workout!

Spirit and Shadow

Whether you’re blessedly single or coupled up, Aphrodite encourages you to love yourself first, last, and always. Our love affair with ourselves is never-ending, and it feeds our other relationships. Show love for your holy temple with a spa day! Treat yourself to a mani-pedi, or do it yourself at home. If you’re on a budget, you can still replicate the relaxing vibes of a spa with candles, incense, soft lighting, and chill music. Turn off your phone and give yourself a break from social media. Focus on your pleasure. Give yourself a facial. I love sheet masks and clay facials, they’re so decadent!

One of my favorite ways to spoil myself?  I like to make a simple sugar scrub with turbinado sugar, almond or coconut oil, and a few of my favorite essential oils. Indulge in a hot bubble-bath, then exfoliate in the shower with your new scrub. Here’s a recipe you can try at home!

Basic Sugar Scrub

• 1 Cup Turbinado Sugar
• Almond, grapeseed, or coconut oil
• Essential oils, herbs, and flower petals of your choosing

Stir the oil in slowly, until the sugar scrub mixture is the right consistency. (It is mostly sugar; the oil just binds it together. It should feel thick and luscious, with all the sugar integrated into the oil.)

Personalize Your Pleasure

• Need to kick ass? For an invigorating effect, add ground coffee and vanilla.
• Want to relax? Add a few drops of sage or lavender essential oil, and/or a handful of dried lavender flowers.
• Feeling sensuous? Try dried rose petals! You can also add rose, sandalwood, or ylang-ylang essential oils.

This post is the second in my series on sacred self care. If you missed the one I kicked off with in spring, it’s here. Aphrodite rises when we love ourselves!

Summer solstice season is a time of action, fiery energy, and desire. It is crucial to take excellent care of yourself in this season of passion and change, for one cannot draw water from an empty well. Take your passion to the streets, and fight for a cause you believe in. Let the world be your altar- leave sacred poetry in your wake wherever you go, weaving a veil of beauty and illusion. Use sidewalk chalk to create an invocation to the Goddess on a walk through the neighborhood. As it fades, the energy will be released into the Universe. Write love letters you’ll never send and give them to the flame. Move. Travel. Explore. Leap. Trust that the Goddess is watching, and delighting in all you do.

Untamed Heart

my love is no domestic beast
it roars and tramples,
eats men alive

and only the bravest
dare the dangers of this
wild heart.

–written during the Pink Moon, 4.26.2021, Full Moon in Scorpo