It’s finally my favorite time of year and the only time you humans really pay attention to rabbits. And you will pay attention. I recognize your favorite bra, and I will find it in the laundry and chew it to smithereens if you don’t.
Ostara, or Spring Equinox is the holiest of holy-days here in rabbit world, but we are concerned that you pagans have strayed from the essential core of this celebration.
First of all, enough with the eggs. We don’t eat them, we can’t lay them, and unless you’re willing to let us play in the dirt, we have no interest in finding them. Don’t get me started on those plastic ovals that you can’t even get your teeth around.
Then you have the chocolate. Another unpalatable item for rabbits. Adding insult to injury, you shape them like rabbits and EAT THEM! Don’t think we haven’t noticed. Barbarians.
Chicks are also an unnecessary addition to Ostara. They aren’t fun to play with and they peck at our sensitive parts. And they come from eggs. See above.
If you wouldn’t mind, please focus your attention back to the core of Ostara. That core is, of course, rabbits. Cute, fluffy, twitchy-nosed bunnies with our big ears and cottony tails.
We are the quintessential symbol of spring. The very definition of fertility is a rabbit. Warming weather and longer days making you feel frisky? We’re always frisky! Purity and innocence: rabbit. We even have a “spring” in our step.
So, take some springtime celebration tips from an expert:Awaken the earth. Dance on her. Sing to her. Drum your feet (or whatever you have that makes noise). Leap in the air and turn around while shaking your head and wagging your tail. This lets mama earth know you are happy. (Try Spring is Returning by Kiva for inspiration.)
Awaken withthe earth! Stretch and yawn ferociously and frequently to prepare your body for the work ahead. (T Thorn Coyle and Sharon Knight’s Joys of Springtime might help.)
Eat green things. Lots of them. Chew well and be mindful of what mama earth has given you. Finish off your greens with a carrot or two.
Dig a hole and plant something. Then invite me over to sample. The least you can do is dig a hole. Several if you can. Preferably in the carpet.
Eschew those nasty eggs and chocolate in favor of raisins and bananas. Apples will do in a pinch. Be sure to leave a bite for your bunny friend.
Be curious. Let the newness of the season inspire you to learn or try something new.Be cute. There’s a little bunny deep down in everyone (especially if you’ve been eating those horrible chocolate rabbits). Let your inner bunny child come out and play. Wear bunny ears (fake ones, please), dress in lots of color, or douse yourself in glitter (or unicorn snot).
Follow some or all of these and we’ll make a decent rabbit of you yet.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve done my fifteen minutes of work. I am now legally entitled to a four hour nap under the ottoman. But call me if you get a banana.
Roki Rabbit is a guest blogger who lives with Tara Kreauweaumonn and Charlie Crowdrummer. Tara served as the scribe for this blog because Roki struggles with hitting a single key at a time with her paws. Roki supported the production of the upcoming Crow Women Album Seasons: A Pagan Journey by keeping the singers well entertained at rehearsals.